“Helper” Reveals what’s Inside Him After a Torrent of Tweets Speculate on that Weighty Topic
Well things just a whole lot awkward over in Hamburger Helper land after a series of tweets from alleged fans of the famous hamburger supplementer (yeah, I made up that word, so sue me), topped off by a stunning tweet by Hamburger Helper themselves (or is it himself, herself?).
It all started when a tweeter that goes by the twitter handle @soongrowtired, but likes to be known as BOOma Thurman, tweeted a series of images followed by this statement, “someone who is good at science please help which is the correct anatomy of hamburger helper”
The images first show the Hamburger Helper talking glove guy, followed by a series of images that speculates as to what the inside of that glove looks like if it, he, whatever, were to get an x-ray or, possibly, if someone just pulled the talking glove’s glove off.
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Of the two “Inside the Glove” images BOOma Thurman shared, I personally favor the floating skull in the middle of glove gooiness myself, but then, I’m a fan of goo. The tweet inspired other tweeters to create their own inside-like of the Hamburger Helper glove.
Joel Carroll (@joelcarroll) created, I think, this cartoonish, but still macabre version:
Self-described skeletologist Sinderula (@Sindershif) shared what was alleged to be THE authoritative rendering of “Inside the Glove” with this skeletal rendering:
A professional illustrator, Michael Cannon (@Artildawn), while admitting that thinking about “Inside the Glove” was terrifying, he appears to have devoted considerable time and energy to produce this disturbing rendering, showing us both the glove over top the bony interior, and the bony interior by itself:
I have to say that THIS was my favorite from the fans of the hamburger supplementer (yes, I still know that’s not a real word), Hamburger Helper. The idea of a skull being perched right in the middle of my hand has a great appeal. Plus it gives new meaning to the phrase, face palm.
Finally, after much speculation and wonder in twittertopia, the hamburger supplementer stepped out from behind the twitter veil and revealed to one and all exactly hat “Inside the Glove” really looks like:
Of all of the many images (and I just shared a few, for more, go here), the one alleging to ACTUALLY BE Inside the Glove, from “Helper” himself (@helper), was the most disturbing of them all.
The idea of Helper having little skeletal hands inside fingers, hands that clearly have no purpose or function, hands that can only curl their bony appendages up in pointless, futile gooeyness, is emotionally disturbing to me.
Now, when I see “Helper” singing on a Hamburger Helper commercial, I’ll be thinking of the existential, near-nihilistic reality of those five pointless hands, nuzzled in a field of glove goo, unused, unfulfilled. And only I, or anyone who thinks about it now, will see behind those happy eyes the depth of the pain and angst of one whose entire life is helping, yet he can’t even help himself.