It’s OK to Think Women Are “Sexy” Without Obsessively “Objectifying” Them
My problem with “feminists” is that they’re mostly a bunch of absolutarians who grab hold of a truth (when they don’t grab hold of outright lies, which also happens) and walk it out to the extremes, creating highly rigid purity tests that no one could possibly pass over any sustained period of time.
Take, for instance, the whole “objectifying women” standard.
There is a truth (well, I believe it is a truth, and I’m pretty sure I’m right) that women are overly sexualized and we (at least in America, that I have observed) place as one of THE (if not THE) top assessments of women, their attractiveness.
It’s also true that if you want women to have a better opportunity to be assessed more on their merits than their looks, this cultural ‘reality’ needs to shift.
But “objectification” seeks to condemn and demean ANY recognition or consideration of attractiveness (sexiness) of women. Of course, there is no strict enforcement of the “objectification” of men, which is also a problem in this current culture (albeit the problem is not nearly as acute, IMHO, as it is for women, though attractive men absolutely get more doors open to them based on their looks alone than do less attractive, and even more, unattractive men do).
As a Father of a 13-year old girl, I am all for working to change the culture to not put so much of an emphasis on the ‘sexiness’ of women, but I have no desire to seek to stamp out all such expressions, by men OR by women. The “feminists” of today will screech “OBJECIFICICATION” at EVERY expression by a man about a woman being attractive or EVERY display of women in ‘sexy’ outfits.
This is a reflection of their absolutarian perspectives, and is why I can hardly walk with them to any degree of depth even on issues where I might actually agree with them.
Their way is to always create a false dichotomy of total evil or total purity, either one of which is hardly ever true. Their way is to always create an unequal conversation, an unequal status between men and women, where, right from the start, ALL men are presumed inferior and in error to ALL women.
This flaw of absolutarianism is not unique to many (but not all) self-described feminists. I find examples of this absolutarian approach to life in almost every group-based ‘tribe’ I’ve ever gotten to know thus far.
As with the other absolutarian factions of these groups, I won’t reject what ‘truths’ or understanding, suspicion of truth, I might share with them, but I won’t be making any great effort to spend any time or resources seeking to walk with most members of these absolutarian factions.
Women are NOT simply sex objects here to please men, but yes, women are sexually appealing to men. That fact won’t ever change so long as human biology remains essentially what it is. And I have no desire, whatsoever, to help you feminist absolutarians in trying to create a culture that wholly and completely oppresses that biological reality.