Aliens Are Heating Our Planet, McDonalds Gets Double Lulz’d and more on at pgnewser.com/lz
I kid you not, even legit geniuses, even legit phd big brained power houses sometimes stumble upon an extra level of self-inflicted derpage that causes you to question the very existence of humanity.
In this case, that feeling might be particularly apropos if we are talking about Oxford Professor and big brained awesome guy Dr Young-hae-Chi who has decided that he has figured out the mystery of the universe, aliens, aliens merging with humans to take over the universe and take over humans from within.
Ma’am, we traced the source of the call, and it’s in your womb. Holy next level scary if this guy is even REMOTELY right, but if he is, there’s then no reason not to believe that the LITERAL Dr. Who will show up and save us, in whatever form the doctor has taken up (unless it’s a Dallas Cowboys fan, go Eagles, Dallas Sucks, I apologize in advance for violating my pledge for non-partisanship but Dallas does suck, objectively).
This doctor, Dr. Chi, not Who, believes aliens are LITERALLY messing with us to mess with climate change because jerks and stuff, BUT we can combat it by creating a new alien-human species that will literally save the world from climate change, but I know that’s code for destroy all humans and create a super alien race of Dallas Cowboys fans to take over the universe. Not even the Daleks, the nemesis (what’s plural for nemesis?) of the previously mentioned Dr. Who, are quite as scary as that proposition.
Here’s a snippet of the version the normies over at the Sun UK gave you- Oxford University professor claims aliens are already breeding with humans on earth – Dr Young-hae Chi, an instructor in Korean at Oxford’s Oriental Institute, part of the prestigious university, thinks this new species will save Earth from annihilation from climate change. Dr Chi first said the hybrids may already exist in a lecture in 2012 but has now written a book on the subject. He believes there is a strong correlation between climate change and alien abductions, the Oxford Student newspaper has reported. His book, written in Korean, is called Alien Visitations and the End of Humanity. | Get the Full Story
- Mobile App Thief, AKA Hamburgler, Pilfers $2K Worth of Mickey Dees…..Again
CBC News – The mysterious Quebec hamburglar has struck again, racking up more than $2,000 worth of meals at different McDonald’s in Montreal. This time, an unsuspecting Toronto tech writer got stuck with the bill. “I was just panicked because that’s a lot of money,” said Patrick O’Rourke, managing editor of the tech news site, MobileSyrup. The fraudster pulled off the fast-food scam by infiltrating O’Rourke’s McDonald’s mobile app account, which was linked to his debit card. The scammer then used the app to order more than 100 meals for pick-up between April 12 and 18. The smorgasbord included McFlurries, Big Macs, Chicken McNuggets and poutine. | Get the Full Story […]
- McDonald’s Unintended Feather Nuggets Create Nightmares For China’s Children
The Star Online – A woman in Beijing got a nasty surprise on Sunday when the chicken wings she ordered from McDonald’s arrived with their feathers still attached….Zhou…did not notice the unwanted additions until after she had fed the wings to her young daughter, Guancha.cn reported on Wednesday. “A chicken wing overgrown with feathers was fried and then sold, to be sent straight into a child’s mouth!” Zhou wrote in a social media post alongside a photo of the offending snack with feathers clearly seen protruding through the fried coating. “My child is now having nightmares, and whenever she eats she retches,” she said. | Get the Full Story […]
- Roos Are Set to Take Uraguay and There’s NOTHING You Can Do About It But Fight….with Memes
From 10 Daily – A South American country is currently trying to come to grips with what would happen if Australia’s population of kangaroos decided to hop over there and invade — and it’s hilarious. As it turns out, Uruguay recently stumbled onto some rather unsettling information: there are far more kangaroos down under than there are Uruguayans to fight them should they need to. I just want all of you to know that there’s currently a sea of memes regarding a battle between Uruguayans and kangaroos. They’re all in Spanish, but other than that, you’re welcome #Uruguay #canguros | Get the Full Story […]
- Snake Uses Spider Lure Tail to Snag Wanna-Be-Spider Eaters
From Discover Magazine -When Steven Anderson first examined a specimen of the Iranian spider-tailed viper, he, of course, noticed the arachnid-shaped lump on the dead snake’s tail. It was 1970….“All of a sudden, a few years ago this Iranian amateur naturalist Hamid Bostanchi found another one,” says Anderson…..”And so then I realized there is something going on here.” …..the snake’s weird accessory was a caudal lure — an aggressive form of animal mimicry where a tail evolves to resemble the prey of another organism. When something like, say a frog, tries to gobble this fake food, it becomes food itself. In this case, the spider-tailed viper uses its caudal lure to capture birds…..” | Get the Full Story […]
LZ RAW – THE UNFILTERED STRANGE, ODD, WEIRD FEED PRE-X-LULZ-INJECTED
- Does Psilocybin Hold The Key To Treating PTSD And Depression?
- Deep-ocean creatures living a ‘feast-or-famine’ existence because of energy fluxes
- Man jumps out of car, kills snake and threatens suicide
- The Navy is officially taking UFOs seriously
- Caffeine gives solar cells an energy boost
- Police seize ‘super obedient’ lookout parrot trained by Brazilian drug dealers
- CNN reporter stomps Florida lizard during live report
- Beer-carrying man rescued from the sea
- Small plane crash lands on top of Idaho tree, pilot rescued
- Jussie Smollett case: brothers who helped stage attack sue actor’s attorney
- Killer Whales Have Been Squeezing Sharks To Death Like Toothpaste For Their Livers
- Rhinos And Elephant-Like Creatures Once Roamed Texas 11 Million-Years-Ago, According To New Study
- What the Heckboy: Theater near church avoids ‘Hellboy’ title
- 95 Million-Year-Old Species Has Scientists Rethinking The Definition Of A Crab
- Report: Emirati woman wakes up from coma after 27 years
- Aurora Cannabis plant working to contain skunky smell at Edmonton airport
- Washington Will Likely Become The First State To Allow “Human Composting”
- Firefighter Recruitment Ad Touts ‘Low Pay, Cool Helmets’
THE LULZARD SECTION – TOPICS LINKS – STORIES BEYOND THE NEWSER
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