Male Fish Become Female Fish Far More Often Than Female Fish Become Male Fish….FACT!

Did you know that fish were gender benders?  Many of you probably knew that many types of fish can change their sex, BUT, a recent study has revealed that when it comes to bending of the genders, er, sex (wait, isn’t gender a social…never mind), it seems the female fishies are much less likely to opt to change to male fish than the male fish are likely to switch teams and go all-girl, so to speak. […]

Don’t Just BE A Jerk-Off, Get PAID to Jerk Off

 Tired of being called a wanker by your friends, your family?  Tired of being called a jerk off just because you’re too lazy too work, or, more accurately, you don’t particularly like working? Well, you can go ahead and OWN that title AND make some good coin while doing it.  If you live in the UK (and if you don’t, you might want to move) you can get a job masturbating.  This is not fake news, folks, so keep reading. […]

Move Over Plants, Cyborg Bacteria Can Outperform You in Photosynthesis

When I hear the word cyborg, I think, killer robots, or the MMA star, Chris Cyborg.  I don’t think renewable energy.  But that’s about to change, at least for me, as scientists are working on what are being called “cyborg bacteria” that are covered with microscopic solar panels.  These cyborg bacteria will be able to outperform plants in photosynthesis, which offers great promise for the future of solar energy. […]

Elon Musk Begs UN To Regulate Robots Before They Kill Us All

 Elon Musk is a brilliant innovator who is also equally brilliant at manipulating government guns to help him do what the free market would not allow him to do.  While he is busy securing hundreds of millions of dollars of government subsidies, he’s also busy raising the spectre of Skynet to attempt to scare government (this time the world government known as the UN) to ban “lethal autonomous weapons.”  The media might couch this as a brave, brilliant man sounding a needed alarm, but I for one would call this alarmism aimed at shutting down current and potential future competitors.  […]

Man on Meth Thinks He’s In The Purge

Here’s a little story I’m sure you’ll enjoy.  It’s the typical story of man takes meth, man walks on bridge, man thinks he’s in the purge, man throws rocks at people, man gets arrested, but with no pretty girls and definitely no happy endings. […]

UK Woman Suffers from Chronic “Arousal”

Meet a woman who is always….ready….and it’s not cool, man., not cool. She is in a perpetual state of ‘arousal’ and the doctors don’t know what to do for her. Not even headaches can turn her off. Not even the sound of a shoe shopping bell can alleviate her from her hungers (ok, shoe sales, yeah, that might be a tad bit sexist but I’m not running for political office so I’m sort of cool with that).
On a side note, no, I don’t have her number, her Facebook page, or twitter account name. Stop PM’ing me. Stop.

[…]

Septuagenarian Shocks World With Win in Brazilian Beauty Pageant

Dude, sit right down right there and get ready to watch a Brazilian Beauty pageant. I bet you’re interested. I bet you’re REAL interested. Now as you sit there, picture if you will the contestants walking in. Now, really think about it. Make sure your eyes are closed. I bet I can imagine the pictures that are in your head. Now, open your eyes, because YOU get to meet the beauty pageant winner, and the person’s name is……..well…..read the story below. ENJOY! […]

Swift Gets Her Dollar After Court Victory over Handsy DJ

After an epic struggle that spanned time and history, Taylor Swift enacted swift (well, not so swift, but her last name is Swift so everyone’s doing that so I am too) justice on her alleged DJ molestor.  She won her case and her dollar and now, everything’s right with the world.  That extra dollar now makes Taylor Swift the richest self-satisfied starlet (is she still young enough  to be a starlett) on the planet.  Bra.  Vo.  Slow, sarcastic claps only. […]

Alabama Inmate Uses Peanut Butter to Break Out of Prison

After reading this story, you cannot help but agree with me when I say that peanut butter should be banned. Clearly it leads to prisoners breaking out of jail. It. Should. Be. Stopped. An Alabama inmate used peanut butter to escape prison.  This fundamental threat to...

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