You go camping and you look forward to harmonizing with nature and just getting away from all the stresses of the modern world. You turn your cell phone off and you settle in to a season of peace and quiet.
But something happens on the way to that peace and meditation, a big old 300-pound black bear decides that your harmony with nature will now include a harmonic smash to the face. Well, it ended up being a claw swipe to the face followed by a good old-fashioned skull bite, followed by being dragged on the ground, with your skull locked in the jaws of the bear.
Not cool man, not cool.
But you survive this harmonic encounter with nature, after a few stitches and a few “why me” sessions with yourself and whatever gets you through the dark days. You finally get over it. You finally escape the doom and gloom feeling of being a not-so-lucky feller. You finally venture back into the world, about a year later.
This time, screw the land. Land animals…well, they suck. And you can speak with authority about how and why land animals suck. You still LITERALLY have the scars. No, this time you’re gonna go out into the water.
You turn the cell phone off and you settle into the peace and quiet and harmony with nature vibe. But, well, there happens to be a shark nearby and that shark has a different understanding of harmony with nature than you do.
His idea of harmony with nature is to go ahead and bite you. So he does, right in your leg. You get bit on the leg by a 6 to 8-foot tiger shark. You get to see the blood shoot out of the deep gash and barely make it to the emergency room where you’re stitched up, now possessing shark scars to go along with your bear scars.
Yeah, that happened, and it happened in less than one year to 20-year-old Dylan McWilliams of Grand Junction Colorado. The first incident happened nearly a year ago, back in July of 2017.
In that incident, McWilliams was camping in Boulder County, Colorado when he was attacked. Less than a year later, this past week, McWilliams was boogie boarding at Kauai, Hawaii when the Tiger Shark mentioned above decided to attack him.
At this point, perhaps McWilliams should either wear armor when he goes into nature’s backyard, or back-pool, or maybe stay in his house, and, for the love of everything that’s decent stay the heck away from animals.