The NPC Effect of the Un-Examined, Segmented Life

When I was 25, I realized that whenever I went to work, I went into this mode that created tunnel vision in me.
That tunnel vision made the whole of me disappear, so that only work me existed.
After I became aware of this, I tried to remind myself to think of the whole me when I was at work.
It didn’t work.
And thus began a painful self-deprogramming process where I developed strange exercises that were intended to bring in the whole of me when I went to work.
It was painful because, as I deconstructed the work veneer I made myself not only more aware of myself, but more aware of the people around me, as well as some of the more absurdist aspects of Paul’s work life.
I conquered that beast. I vanquished work me forever.
But, I did not realize there were other places I went to in my life where I was not bringing in the full me.
This was especially true of politics me. Actually, IS- this is a recently initiated project, to deconstruct politics me and replace it with whole me (such as I can understand who that person really is, which, in and of itself, is a proposition not void of uncertainty).
With the rise of these NPC memes (NPC- Non-Player Characters in video games, especially when they glitch up because someone just went offscript), I think I realize these ‘versions’ of me, where I enter into a venue with a diminished version of myself, one customized for that particular venue, I am an NPC, mostly operating on scripts, some of which I may have created, but MOST Of which were spoonfed to me by agents that had super-non-critical standing with me.

About Paul Gordon 3009 Articles
Paul Gordon is the publisher and editor of iState.TV. He has published and edited newspapers, poetry magazines and online weekly magazines. He is the director of Social Cognito, an SEO/Web Marketing Company. You can reach Paul at