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Elon Musk Begs UN To Regulate Robots Before They Kill Us All

 Elon Musk is a brilliant innovator who is also equally brilliant at manipulating government guns to help him do what the free market would not allow him to do.  While he is busy securing hundreds of millions of dollars of government subsidies, he’s also busy raising the spectre of Skynet to attempt to scare government (this time the world government known as the UN) to ban “lethal autonomous weapons.”  The media might couch this as a brave, brilliant man sounding a needed alarm, but I for one would call this alarmism aimed at shutting down current and potential future competitors.  […]


UK Woman Suffers from Chronic “Arousal”

Meet a woman who is always….ready….and it’s not cool, man., not cool. She is in a perpetual state of ‘arousal’ and the doctors don’t know what to do for her. Not even headaches can turn her off. Not even the sound of a shoe shopping bell can alleviate her from her hungers (ok, shoe sales, yeah, that might be a tad bit sexist but I’m not running for political office so I’m sort of cool with that).
On a side note, no, I don’t have her number, her Facebook page, or twitter account name. Stop PM’ing me. Stop.



Septuagenarian Shocks World With Win in Brazilian Beauty Pageant

Dude, sit right down right there and get ready to watch a Brazilian Beauty pageant. I bet you’re interested. I bet you’re REAL interested. Now as you sit there, picture if you will the contestants walking in. Now, really think about it. Make sure your eyes are closed. I bet I can imagine the pictures that are in your head. Now, open your eyes, because YOU get to meet the beauty pageant winner, and the person’s name is……..well… the story below. ENJOY! […]


Swift Gets Her Dollar After Court Victory over Handsy DJ

After an epic struggle that spanned time and history, Taylor Swift enacted swift (well, not so swift, but her last name is Swift so everyone’s doing that so I am too) justice on her alleged DJ molestor.  She won her case and her dollar and now, everything’s right with the world.  That extra dollar now makes Taylor Swift the richest self-satisfied starlet (is she still young enough  to be a starlett) on the planet.  Bra.  Vo.  Slow, sarcastic claps only. […]