Man Pledges He Will Turn Himself in to Cops If He Gets 1,000 Shares

The “Champagne Torino” says he will turn himself in to cops, and he will bring donuts.

Facebook, Champagne Torino, Redford Township Police Department, Facebook Shares

Champagne Torino became a legend on the Book of Face last week when he engaged with the Redford Township Police Department.  The Facebook trolling turned into a warrant for his arrest.  But even that was not enough to dissuade the Champagne from continuing to pursue his trollonomics.

It all started with a post in which Champagne commented on a home invasion post.

Champagne Torino had ticked off whoever was monitoring the Facebook page for the Redford Township Police Department.  The monitor decided it was time to let Champagne know that his actions were likely to get him blocked from the public police page.

Well, our troll Lord did NOT take kindly to a threat of a block, so he became, let’s just say, a tad more trolly.  The police department page monitor apparently became aware that Champage Torino had SEVERAL warrants out for his arrest.  They let him know this, to wit the trolly von troller responded with an offer.

Here is where the iLulz really enters into this story.  Champagne told the Redford Township Police Department that IF their next post gets 1000 shares, he will not only turn himself in, he will also bring a dozen donuts with him as well.  As if that wasn’t enough, Champagne also pledged to clean up all the litter around the schools in the area.

The Redford Township Police Department responded with enthusiasm, “Donuts!!! He promised us donuts!  You know how much we love Donuts!  Help us win this challenge and clean up blight in Redford at the same time!  It’s as easy as a SHARE of this post.”

Well, as could be predicted, the statey von statfacetarians of America shared the ever-loving dog doodle out of that post.  Within an hour, the post had gone past the 1,000 shares.  As of right now, the post has been shared over 4,000 times.  But, sadly, Champagne Torino has not showed up.  He didn’t bring donuts.  He didn’t turn himself in.  He didn’t clean up the ‘blight’ around the local schools

Who knew that people don’t mean what they say and say what they mean on the book of Face?  The Redford Township Police Department certainly didn’t realize that.

Our hats go off to you, Champagne Torino.  You managed to get the police to gleefully admit, even if they thought they were being playful, that they love the donuts, they love them more than they love getting the trash cleaned up around schools.

May you ride off into the great Trolly Sunset, Champagne Torino, where memes grow on trees and gifs shine in every window pane.

About Paul Gordon 2932 Articles
Paul Gordon is the publisher and editor of iState.TV. He has published and edited newspapers, poetry magazines and online weekly magazines. He is the director of Social Cognito, an SEO/Web Marketing Company. You can reach Paul at